Sarah Callista

Saved by grace and will never be the same…

Read this first


In our lives there are seasons that we have to go through and our least favorite season would be the stormy winters. In that season we have to go through what is called the valley. In that valley sometimes the journey and our path becomes very dark…

When darkness come, we will become afraid, we tend to be panicking, and we try our best to find ‘artificial light’ to lit up the path. We try to build our own source of ‘light’. The worst part is being in this valley, besides that it’s so dark, is that we can rarely feel God, we feel like we are the only one walking there with nobody or anything to guide us. In some extreme moments we actually feel numb, we feel as if God is absence. Some of you might be in this situation right now. I know how difficult that situation can be. I know exactly how hollow and how discouraging the valley feels. It also feels like we should just give up now.

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The Absent Of Logic

One of the classic Christian question is when people start wondering where God is in the midst of this chaotic depressing world. As part of of this younger generation, I realized that the younger you are the more you are prone to depression because of all the horrendous thing you are exposed to. Apparently the very thing that is supposed to connect us today, like what I’m doing right now (connecting with you through this online journal) cause us more damage that we thought. More bad news and bad things we can find online than the good ones. We tried to avoid it, but somehow we are more connected to the brokenness of this world. War is happening here and there, people killing themselves and what not. Finally in the midst of that we ask ourselves, ‘Where does God fit into all this? The one who claim to be love is seem to be absent in this dying rotting world’

This contemplation has been

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Getting Closer

Many times we as Christians exasperated under our breathe thinking that God is not around. I know this first hand. I know that feeling when we feel that God felt so far away from us. Yet the answer to this question is usually, “Hey… God is never far He is always around and close to you.” The thing is reality speaks differently. We do feel that God is far. It’s a fact and an undeniable one. Usually, because of this we become very frustrated and don’t know what to do with our relationship with God.

Lately, I came to realized something. We know some of the “Golden” steps to be close to God. The quite time with Him, the worship time, the listening to sermon time, and so on. I realize there is on crucial step that we can do but we rarely do. This step is the farthest from the usual “Golden” steps. This step is the oddest one and feels really irrelevant from wanting to be close to God. This

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They Hated Me Without Reason

This is an open letter for a fellow Christian who is under persecution. A story like his is a story that I thought I will never witness in my life time. His story, despite of the situation that he is in, is a story of hope and grace. A story of how God is in control in every situation of our life. A story worth telling to the future generations of this country.

We may think that, why would a righteous person get that kind of treatment? In a way that he didn’t deserve. But does God ever promise to us that we will always be treated with justice in this world? Didn’t Jesus said ““If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they

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Tick Tock Tick Tock

Eclessiastes 3:1-15

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human

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I Perform Too Well

I have a confession when it comes to preaching on a pulpit. Whenever I have finished preaching, most of the time I feel awful. It is not because I don’t like preaching or having trouble doing it. Not at all, the problem is actually the other way around. I love preaching, I love being on a platform, being able to change people’s life and people’s paradigm in Christianity. But I think that is where my problem lies. This is where I will begin my confession.

I have too many “I"s in this matter. It is such a puny way of thinking, isn’t it? When we were asked by God to step up and took a pedestal to be His ambassador, let say such as; lead for Him, perform for Him, win for Him, sing for Him, speak for Him. We tend to put more "I"s in our thoughts than Him. We went into hyperdrive of "I"s. Was it wrong? Not really, of course we need some self assurance and self control on how are we going to

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Picking the crowd to minister to…

When we heard the word ministry we will immediately think about the list of things that we can minister at church. We immediately think of church and church ministry department. Starting maybe from pastoral all the way to care or even prayer group.

At least this will be in your mind if you have been a Christian your whole life. Now, is it true though, that our ministry is that shallow? Just within the four walls of church? I’m just trying to broaden our perspective about ministry. I think I have written about this on my previous journal, but this would be a great reminder just to go into it again.

When we serve or minister at church it feels like the holiest place and the holiest thing we can do. At least that’s what I thought. But lately I discovered more challenging truth regarding this.

As human we are called by God to shine the light upon this world, to preserve the world. Many

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39000 Feet Above

I love flying…
Yet I hate it at the same time
I’m at 39000 feet in the air right now and my mind always plays tricks on me.

Basically it betrays me into hating the flight.
You know why I hate it? Because it scares me. The thought of flying scares the hell out of me. 

Here’s the thing though, flying has always been one of the most private moment with me and Him. He speaks to me a lot up in the sky. He is very loud up here. God exist in the midst of our most fearful moment, may it be my fear of flying, turbulence, the take off, thick clouds and so on. Or maybe your daily life worries, your career, your love life, your financial situation. He is in there in the eye of the tornado. And He is there to stay until you are safe and sound out of it.

Have you ever been more convicted in His presence when you were maybe crying inside your room by yourself because you were broken hearted? Have

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Doxology .01

The stars may collapse
The earth may shake
The oceans may rise
But one thing remains
The Truth,
The Love,
The Words,
The Grace,
of our Lord,
Your everlasting reign above our life
In the darkest moment of Your creation
You continuously act as our advocate
O’ how great is our King
Glory to Your name forever in our hearts
The king that rules over this world
How marvellous and wonderful Your love is
We sing to you O’ majestic Lord
We praise Your name and shout out Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
For Your name may be heard all over the earth
Let Your name be the one name that every tongue may speak
For there is nothing on this earth that compare to the mighty
name of Jesus!


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Without GPS

These days I can’t drive without checking my GPS system. Today was the worst traffic at my hometown that I haven’t experienced in a while. I was supposed to be heading at a direction that I know the route by heart. But it has been a habit for these past year, that I always checked my GPS, to see where is the traffic point and I don’t feel save driving without seeing what’s ahead and knowing the streets condition.

Somehow today I couldn’t, it was bad traffic, some part of the city is having a black out and a lot of the traffic light was down. My internet connection also got affected, I couldn’t check my GPS system at all. I went blind.

I hated the feeling, I was a bit angry because I felt like I have made a bad decision and get myself stuck in a bad traffic. When my GPS finally is on again, I realised all road was blocked by traffic jam.

And its struck me. Today, we are quite attached

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