Unspoken Gratitude

I don’t really have a verse to share right now. But I just want to share this very short Christmas story. Not your usual Christmas story.

If I am to describe how my life is, I can always say that my life is not easy. I’m born in an imperfect family. You may call my family is a bit dysfunctional. I come from a broken home. My family from my mom side has a long line of family bitterness. So everybody in my family has an erratic behaviour including me. I live with my mom and when I’m 2 years old, my mom introduce me to my new dad. I have never really see him as my step dad, we are really close. The only normal in this family is my dad.

My teenagers life isn’t exactly wonderful either. I was most hated person everywhere I go and it drove me to the wrong crowd of people. I have never valued myself when I was younger. I did a lot of wrong things to hurt myself because I was so depressed of my existence. I go through that life crisis for 10 years plus. Until I decided otherwise.

So to sum up my life so far I would not describe it easy. But this is what I want to say today. I am so thankful. Out of all of my life miseries, God has never forgotten me. Never once in my life since I was born He has forgotten me. Every single event whether it’s major or minor He is involved.

Now every time I am face with hardship I know that I need not be afraid. For my life is within His hands. All I need is to keep holding on to Him. Holding on to all the praises I can say through my mouth.

“Even when the fight seems lost,
I’ll praise You.
Even when it hurts like hell,
I’ll praise You.
Even when it makes no sense to sing.
Louder then I’ll sing Your praise.”

-Hillsong United-

It’s near the end of year and when I looked back to my past, I wouldn’t want to change a thing. Because without it, I won’t be who I am today. All valuable lesson needs to be learn by heart. And like always I believe more than anything God is in control. So nothing else I can say right now but to say thank you. Thank you for your grace and thank you for this life. Without Your love I am merely a speck of dust in this universe.

I dedicated this journal just to say my gratitude out loud…

 
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